the life of namesake

I often frequent the public library. Before anyone thinks of me as an avid reader let me come out clean that I go there with the sole purpose of renting out the movie dvds. Public libraries do have a limited collection of movies, mostly Hollywood movies and few Indian and other international movies as well. So, I find these libraries a good source to catch up on titles which I missed when they released in theater or Redbox.

So, on one such occasion, there I was standing with my held tilted to the right like a tower with its roof knocked off. If you are wondering why - the dvds are arranged in the shelf vertically and the titles written lengthwise on the edge - hence the stretched head to read them. 

It’s just a trivial detail, let’s move on…

I was standing in the middle of the aisle glancing through the list of English movies and did not notice the person who was standing behind me trying to check out the movies. As soon as I saw him, I excused myself for blocking him and moved 2 steps aside so that we could as well check out the dvds.

“Find anything good here?” he asked.

Let me tell you all something – I am all for chitchatting with strangers even if it’s a library and silence is golden. I am not one who would walk away from anyone who initiates a conversation. Well, most of the days that’s true, but not that day. Not because of the fact that he was shabbily dressed and looked tired/drunk/sleep deprived, but just because I was in a hurry to get back home and was not in a mood to give him my one word review of the movies stacked there.

“No”. I kept my reply as short as possible (if he was looking at me, I would have shaken my head and avoided the verbal reply).

I recently saw this Indian movie, it was really good”. He might have figured that I was from India and just assumed that I was there to check out only the Hindi movie dvds.

“Here we go, another American who is smitten by Slumdog Millionaire and things that how we do things in India” I thought to myself.

While I was having this mental argument whether to just ignore what he said and just leave it as a closed end sentence or educate him that (1) it’s not how things are in India and (2) it’s not an Indian movie, he continued.

“It was about this Indian guy. His father named him after a Russian guy or so and he names his son a weird name. And the guy who acted as the son is the Kumar from Harold and Kumars (Referring to Kal Penn). You know which one I am talking about?”

I immediately recognized the movie he was talking about. I was pleasantly surprised - he was not talking about Slumdog and impressed – by his taste of movies.

“It is The Namesake, I haven’t seen it” I lied to him as I didn't want to set myself up for a conversation.

““Yessss, that’s the one. Very nice movie. That Indian actor was really good in it”. I understood he was referring to Irfan Khan, but I decided to keep mum.

No response from my end was not a deterrent for him and he was in a mood to give a synopsis of that movie “The son hates the name his father gave. So they end up fighting and he leaves the house….”

He continued “……so, he goes away in this ship which had a lot of zoo animals and then there was a storm and the whole ship sinks. And this guy ends up in a small boat with himself, a monkey and a tiger”.

I believe the readers have realized what happened here. That guy ended up combining the stories of Namesake and Life of Pi!!. What he was telling with at most confidence about a movie he saw “recently” and was “really good” was actually two movies.

I didn't know how to react. I went through a myriad of emotions hearing this - I was befuddled, amused, charmed - all at the same time. I played along and nodded by head as if to be in compliance with what he was saying totally agreeing with the fantastic story arc.

On the way back, I was chuckling all by myself and decided to tell this to my wife as soon as I reached home. I was certain this would make an excellent anecdote to tell my friends and family at the next get-together and laugh about the story and the story teller. But as I thought about it on the way back home, what I thought was absurdity actually started making a bit sense to me. If you think about it the way that guy narrated it, doesn’t it make complete sense? With a little tweak her and there, The Namesake would make a good prequel to Life of Pi. Matter of fact, both these movies even had the same lead actor in them!

I ended up narrating this incident to all my near and dear and every time I do, it makes me wonder if that person I met was just confused or a man of great vision who is yet to realize his greatness.

AVS 

two foot one mouth

I have no reservations about confessing that I suffer from verbal diarrhea. I tend to talk A LOT especially when the crowd is familiar to me. However, I am not one who just blabbers for the heck of it. As my wife puts it, when I listen to someone, most of the times my mind is framing what I am going to say next. Thanks to that, and my innate nature to not offend anyone, there are not many occasions where I have had my foot in my mouth.

But I am afraid off late I have been losing my 'charm' for twice within a week, I ended up blurting out stuffs which not just put my foot, but my whole leg in my mouth.

We were at a baby shower of one of our close acquaintances. Alone with our close circle of friends there were many others as well, most of them I have met before at one place or the other.

I met this fellow Malayali couple whom I knew from previous get-togethers; but with whom I have not chatted much to details. So, like how all “warming up to a person” conversations would go, amongst many other things, he was inquiring about my undergraduate college and I told him about the college.

“It’s in a town called Kothamangalam”, I told for his benefit since he had told me previously that he grew up and studied outside of Kerala.

“Of course I know Kothamangalam, that’s where Sreesanth is from, right?” He asked.

Now for those who do not know who S. Sreesanth is - just google his name. Even better, just search in YouTube and you will find the most entertaining videos available. Thanks to his antics (which I am annoyed with) and the match fixing allegations (which I do not believe), he was quite famous (or notorious) to all who follow cricket in India.

“Yeah, that’s correct…. and I am sorry about that”, I said with a sarcastic grin and a mouth full of food.

I was waiting for laughter or a chuckle from them, but all I got was a weak smile and an awkward silence for couple of seconds.

I noticed the husband and wife exchange glances and I had a bad feeling about it. And as I feared, the guy told embarrassed “Actually, he is a relative of ours”

It was at that exact moment I realized the flavor of my feet in my mouth. Thousands of Keralites in Texas and I find the one person who is related to him – perfect!

“Oops, well, then I am sorry about that” I tried to apologize.

“No no , it’s alright, I have been told worse things about him by many of my other friends”, now he was also trying to apologize to have put me in an awkward situation.

So for the next few minutes we were apologizing to each other.

“He is from his side of family. Don’t worry, actually even I think he is annoying”, the wife tried to pacify me.

“So, how are you both actually related?”, I asked so as to gauge the extent of damage caused and to decide if I should be avoiding for the rest if the day or the rest of the life.

“Well, not direct, my brother is married to his sister in law’s family” he said.

I had a sigh of relief – good; I can continue talking to him “Actually I don’t think he has actually fixed any games. Though I hate his antics on the field, I think he is a hot headed guy to fix a game and keep quiet about it”.

Side note: I truly believe that way too. I strongly think that Sreesanth has been framed in this whole match fixing saga since he is an easy target. Given how much he makes a fool of himself on the field, it wouldn't be hard to make people believe that he would do something this stupid, right?. But my argument is, despite of all his shenanigans, his passion for the game is evident and a person like that would not betray a game he loves.

“I have heard he has always been an annoying fellow”, the wife said.  “But yeah, he always has been dramatic to have done something like this”.

I was a relieved man and I thought it’s better to end this conversation before I goof up anything. So, I apologized again to them and move away get another plate of food.

Given how small the world has become thanks for migration and technology, the odds of meeting people related to people whom you have strong opinion about are quite high. It was a good reminder to study the audience before performing.

 Now the second incident was…..okay I am not going to detail it since it pretty much started off and proceeded the same way. However, this time managed to redeem myself as I cleverly diverted the offended person’s attention by narrating the above incident about confessing my recent proclivity of shooting myself in the foot and thus distracting the whole crowd. Crisis well averted.

AVS

the longest pee

As most of you might be aware that US has various time zones and there is a 'ritual' called daylight savings - twice a year we need to reset our clocks - one hour ahead in Spring and one hours back in fall ("Spring Forward and Fall Back"). And this resetting the clock has been standardized to happen at 2 am on Saturdays just so that it will cause minimum inconvenience to the public. So, in March (which is Spring in US), when the clock strikes 2 am, we adjust it to 3 am and likewise in November, when it hits 2 am we change it back to 1 am. So depending on if its Spring or Fall, you get one hour less sleep and one hour extra sleep respectively. And since it’s on a Saturday night, no one really whines or rejoices about the amount of sleep they got.

Also, the smartphones and laptops automatically adjust the time on that specific date thus making the transition smooth by the time you wake up in the morning. Except for the momentary shock of seeing your wall clock show a different time than you cellphone, life would go on normally as if the adjusted time is the normal time.

Early this year, I had gotten into this habit of drinking water before going to bed and have been getting up in the middle of sleep to relieve myself on many days. Though it could be viewed as something which disrupts the sleep, the way I saw it was, I was  getting a chance to wake up and go back to sleep again (the best feeling ever!).

It so happened that the day of the daylight saving as well, I got up in the middle of the sleep to pee. And like a habit, I checked my cellphone to check the time having no orientation about what day it was. It was close to 2 am. I kept my phone down and went to the rest room to do the needful. As I got back, I checked my phone again to catch up on the emails and Whatsapp messages which my friends and family from the other side of the world have been sending which have been chiming throughout the night. It was like a sudden bolt when I noticed the time was 3 am!!. I knew for sure that went to pee it was about 2 am as my estimation of how long more I will get to sleep is based on the time I woke up.

I was completely alert by then and my mind was trying to process what was going on and whether I really had an one hour long urination and if so why don’t I remember that and more importantly, what’s wrong with me. It took only a few seconds for me to figure out what date it was and what had happened, but a scared mind is a fast processing mind which considers many possibilities and scenarios.

In short, I laid awake for the next ½ hr laughing all by myself at the absurdity of the all incident as I had never expected to lose sleep over (pun intended!) the daylight saving. Not only did I lose 1 hr of my sleep, but also the next ½ hour on what could be technically the longest pee of my life.

Disclaimer: It’s an expanded version of a Facebook status I posted a while back. Just goes to show how much of circumlocutory path I often take to explain simple things.

AVS

much ado about nothing

There was a time, during my bachelor days (both marital as well as academic) when I was really fond of wrist watches. In fact, I think I have been wearing watches since I had to wear one for my 10th grade examination to keep track of the time during those long 3 hour exams, where the key to answering all the questions was to ration the time allotted to each question.

Thanks to my relatives in US, my father and grandfather, we had quite a few wrist watches at home, which gave me the luxury of wearing a different types and makes of watches. Mind you, it was during the pre-smartphone, pre-internet era where, to know the time, one had to either look up on the wall (not the Facebook kind, but the one with bricks and cement) if you are at home, or ask a fellow being wearing a watch, if you are on the road; or wear one yourself. So, for me, it was a necessity, just like my wallet or footwear.

It was only after coming to US, I was exposed to this high speed internet and almost entirely digital based work culture. Add to that the advent of mobile and smartphone technologies. With my almost-always-infront-of-computer-that-soon-it-will-be-called-addiction to internet & computer and constant companionship with mobile phone, I never had the need for a wrist watch. To know the time all I had to do was look at the right corner of the screen in front of me or reach to my pocket for my cellphone. The wall clocks were vanishing from the households and the wrist watches were coming redundant.

So, as I was saying, within a short span of coming to US, I gave up the habit of wearing wrist watch. Even though I had one with me, I never wore it on a daily basis anymore. I would wear only during interviews or formal meetings. Rest of the time, it would be inside the dresser drawer. And during one of my vacations about 7 years back, I left it back home (My mom still asks me, if I need a new watch from home, despite the fact that I have stopped wearing watches for almost a decade - that is how much the image of me wearing a watch is ingrained in my parents’ mind).

Sorry for the lengthy nostalgic intro about watch. This is just a meandering intro to a trivial thing occurred recently. Please excuse me as I am just warming up to blogging after a long hiatus.

When I got engaged few years back, I was gifted a beautiful watch my by FIL. It was as dial watch with silver color metallic strap. Though I loved it and I wore it during my engagement and for the first few days back in the US, soon it made its way back into the drawer in its original box. It was only recently that I noticed one of my friends wearing a new sporty watch. I just thought about the other watches I have seen him wear before and that’s when that it dawned upon me that even I could wear my watch as an accessory, especially when I have this nice, formal one.

So, one fine day morning, about a month back, I took out my watch and start using it. I was surprised that the watch was still running on time even after 3 years. 

It was only after I started wearing I noticed how much a wrist watch gets noticed as I started getting compliments from my colleagues on how nice my watch was. I decided I would make conscious effort to check time on my wrist and change my habit of reaching for my phone.

I was just getting used to that thing on my wrist and then exactly after 10 days later, the watch died on me! Yes, that watch - which ran like an atomic clock for 3 years, which made me changes my 8 year old habit, which made me all nostalgic about watches and how they were getting obsolete and how much I have gotten detached to it – died on me in mere 10 days!

I know it might be just a matter of changing the battery, but still I felt betrayed by the watches. Like a carefully plotted revenge drama, the wrist watches had its revenge. I had ignored it for almost a decade, and it waited patiently. And when it got a chance, it made me fall in love with it again and then did a hara-kiri on me to make me yearn for a watch and left me with the feeling of an incomplete left wrist.

AVS

the ship which once sailed high

Titanic has been re-released in 3D recently after almost a decade and half. My better half has been excited about seeing it ever since we saw the trailer of it some months back. However I tried I am not able to even pretend the same level of enthusiasm on watching that movie again albeit in 3D. Trust me, I don’t have anything against that movie; infact it used to be my favorite movie during my Pre-US days. Over the course of time it has sort of waned down.

This information might amuse those who know me well now - as a kid and teenager; I hardly used to watch any English movies. I was not a great fan of English movies then. My reasoning was simple - I didn’t not understand any shit those people were rolling out of their tongue. In the pre-vcd, pre-internet era, it was hard for me to get hold of English movies which would help my comprehension of language with appropriate subtitles. Hence the count of English movies I had seen was only a handful. I could pretty much count them by hand and almost recollect them all. And notable amongst them were Jurassic park and Titanic (Baby's day out, Home Alone 1, Speed 1 & 2, Anaconda, Godzilla etc making taking up most of the remaining).

Thus from the limited exposure I had, my favorite English movie was Titanic. Blame it on my hormones, I liked it not just for the grandeur, but also for the delicate love story between Jack and Rose it depicted. I loved it so much so that we asked our dad to get a Video cassette of the movie from Dubai (with the clear understanding and awareness that the censorship in the middle east is quite strict and I won't get to see seeing any 'drawing' (the verb) and will have to settle for 'drawing' the noun). That is how much I liked it.

So, when I landed in the land of Hollywood in the middle of the 21st century, I was still searching to find Hindi, Malayalam and Tamil movies online, still reclusive to watch English ones. During the initial weeks in my college, I had the opportunity to attend a social gathering event at a church near our college. So, here I was sitting in a round table eating lunch with couple of my fellow desis from college and some White Americans. So, they were asking us the usual questions about India and how different does it feel to be in US blah blah blah and the conversation leered towards movies. They were curious if we get to see English movies in India or listen to English songs. While a friend of mine was answering their questions how he and others see many English movies and are fans of English songs,  I was maintained a facial expression as if I agree with everything my buddy was telling and it’s ridiculous to even think that there is a possibility that people in India might not have seen English movies.

And then one of the young ladies we were asked which was our favorite English movies. My buddies had difficult time picking a movie unlike me – I was certain of my answer. I told “Titanic’. I was not hoping to get “aww” from any one, but at least I was expecting someone at the table to say “that’s my favorite too” or “I love that movie”. Instead what I got was a repulsive “Really?, you like that movie?” …that too from girls in their 20s who were the demography that that movie targeted. I was amused by their remark, not because it was embarrassed me a bit, but because I could find no reason as to why they felt so. I just assumed that they were one of those rare girls who didn’t like it. 

To cut the story short, I remained oblivious to the vast treasure that is Hollywood movies till for good 1.5 years in US. And then, over the course of years how I turned into a huge English movies fan - who obsessively and religiously watched English movies and turned into someone who has a strong database about English movies and is also a connoisseur of movies - is a story for another day.

After having watched many classics, landmark and cult movies, now when I look back at Titanic, I see the sentiment behind those girls’ remark. For all the visual spectacle Titanic was when it came out, in the core of it, it was just a melodrama - one which was highly manipulative and a bit overrated. I still think it’s a good movie – just a good one, not a great one. But it was a landmark movie when it came out.

So, when my wife was all ecstatic seeing the trailer of Titanic in 3D again, and how she was drooling at the prospect of getting to watch it on big screen for the first time in her life, I cannot but think how I would have reacted had it happened when I was new in US, like she is now. My taste and preference of movies have changed - neither do I consider Titanic to be my favorite film, nor the prospect of seeing a ship sink excruciatingly slowly over 2 hrs in 3D excites me. I don’t think this movie even features any longer in my top 10 English movies of all time, but whenever I read or see anything related to the movie Titanic, I cannot but think about that phase of my life and my naivety or innocence – a time when I used to like a movie for its face value and not how over analyze the various aspects of it before deciding whether I liked it or not.

AVS

slaves of our image

A while back I was reading some article on Bollywood actor Dharmendra. One of the remarks made by a well respected Director said that “ He was  quite a talented actor, but ended up being a slave of his image. That’s exactly what I also felt, not about Dharmendra; but about another superstar from the Indian movie industry – Rajnikanth.  Based on some of his early year’s movies, I found him to be quite a good actor well in control of his histrionics skills. Over the years; thanks to the slew of superhero movies, he became more of a super human capable of making moves and kicks humanly impossible. Now a days, even if he tries to do a normal character, his fans would reject it outright. He has become the character he played on screen that it becomes him.

This made me wonder-  aren’t we all; albeit in a smaller scale, in one way or another, slave to our images? - Doesn't our action/behavior influenced to some extend by what other perceive of us? Don’t you behave or dress a certain way because the people around you expect you to be so? Don’t you think at times “Let’s not do it….thats not what my parents/friends expect to be on my nature”

 I, for one, can definitely vouch for that. I have had instances when people have remarked that it was so unlike of me,  even though they don’t necessarily know  me in and out to know what is ‘likely’ or ‘unlikely’ of me. I have had a friend who once remarked that he has never seen me angry and was surprised when I lost my temper. Even though he would have known that, like all normal human beings, I too have change in moods , yet it was a bit hard for him to accept it.

Likewise, there have been instances when my friends couldn’t believe that I could wear a particular shirts/pants which I have never worn before. Not that I cannot; but they couldn’t picture me in such an attire.

And I too, on many occasions, think what others might think about me before doing something. Like, I think hard about posting some photos or comments in Facebook wondering what others might think about me- not that I would not do it or have not done it – just reluctant because I am uncertain as to how that would affect others impression about me…or how it would affect my image.

I believe the same mentality is what stops some celebrities from acting like a common man – not that they don’t behave so; but are not expected to be found so.

(I know I don’t make a strong case here – my validation points are quite feeble- blame it on the writer’s block I have been having or rustiness of not having blogged in almost a year. Trust me I make a more solid case point on this subject verbally in person)

AVS

bulb above the head

Have you ever felt like a genius and stupid at the same time? I mean, you have an "eureka" moment all of a sudden and a minute later once your euphoria has calmed you feel stupid. I know, one Mr. Archimedes would have felt after the real eureka moment when he looked back and realized how embarrassing it was to run naked. Not to the same scale but till I do get my moments of contrasting emotions.

I usually have a light dinner during weekdays. One - a heavy stomach makes it hard for me to sleep early two - spares me the pain of cooking proper dinner. So I either have some fruits or bread or milk and biscuit. Before I get any sympathetic sighs for my bachelorhood, let me say I have no regrets. (I rather cry when I have to eat cereal in the morning, so if anyone needs to sympathize with me, let that be the one to take it). I used to have steamed vegetables for lunch on some days and over the course of time, I started cooking for my lunch so that I can have proper food once a day. Moreover it was a pain to buy raw vegetables, cut them into pieces and steam them and all. And I didn't want to buy sliced vegetables since it was not 'value for money'.

So, few weeks back, I was with a friend of mine (a fellow bachelor) and casually, just as a conversation piece, I asked what he usually does for dinner and I was told he has steamed veggies and chicken usually. As I gave a "cool" remark and that was it.

A week later I was in my bed at night trying to fall sleep and suddenly I felt hungry. I already have my milk n cookie dinner so somehow my thoughts drifted to the conversation I had with the friend and there it was "voila"! I could have steamed vegetables for dinner!! It just opened up a whole new source of food and adds variety to my diet!

The very next second I felt stupid...my fridge has been stacked with many packs of frozen vegetables which I use to cook my lunch as use it in my noodles from the very beginning. It was always there and it never occurred to me to steam them and eat! Since I always need them to cook, I always have it handy in my freezer. And here I was struggling on many nights wondering what to eat and settling for something just enough to satisfy my appetite or something which will not make me hungry again at the middle of the night.

Now I know what they mean by "Buddha got enlightenment" or whatever Newton or Archimedes felt! It’s the bulb above your head turning on, that’s all it is! And it took more than 3 years for that bulb to start glowing for me.

AVS

what dreams may come

I am a dreamer. I mean literally; I do tend to see a lot of dreams while asleep and many times I can recollect them with quite close accuracy. As weird as it has been most of the times, I do have seen some sensible ones too. But never before have I seen one which remained sensible for its entirety and was able to remember it vividly up until last month.

Ours is a loud family; more precisely, my brother and I are loud. When we argue, we usually take the intimidating path of arguing in a louder octave. So, here we were – my brother, my mother and she - travelling to somewhere in a car. I have been told by her sometime back that she gets intimidated when someone raises their voice, even if it’s not directed at her.

My brother is sitting in the navigator seat and in the back seat, I am sitting behind the driver and mom is right behind my brother. She is in the 3^rd row of the SUV behind my mother (it got to be a SUV to have that many rows of seats). Our occupied position relative to each other is a crucial information, since I am at a vantage point of being able to see the other 3 fellow passengers with just a sideways glance.

So, as usual, some conversation had escalated into an argument and my brother and I have started arguing with our mom. That’s when I notice her behind my mother petrified at the audacity of two boys launching a joint verbal assault on their mother. Mind you, of the 3 of us, only I am aware of her aversion to confrontations; and neither my mom nor brother knows about it. Here I am in the middle of a heated argument with my mother in the company of my brother, who is oblivious of the reaction of others since he is in the front seat of the vehicle. And my mother can see only me who am sitting next to her.

So, here I notice the reaction of her and suddenly realize that it is making her uncomfortable. This puts me in a pickle since I need to make a quick call as to whether continue with our argument since it was something important and we have to drive in our point. But at the same time I need to make sure that she does not feel bad. And thus, when I was struggling with my moral dilemma (which I would, unless someone raises an issue about it, gladly compare to the predicament Arjuna faced with in that battle field). It could have been the pressure of being at the vantage point or just my alarm going off, I suddenly woke up from the dream before I could make a judgment call.

In fact, I am glad that I woke up before I could visualize in which direction I would have swayed – not the best of options when you have to choose between whether you care for yourself or for the other person. You should not be giving up on something you feel strongly about and at the same time, you do need to be considerate. And given that this dream is as realistic as any of my dreams can get, such an event is highly likely in our real life. I am sure a déjà vu moment will present itself in the future and I would have to make a quick decision then. And I hope I would by then what it is going to be.

AVS

the hamburger moment

Remember that scene in Pink Panther (Steve Martin one) where Inspector Clouseau has the hamburger for the first time? Initially he is dismissive of it saying it’s a stupid food made by Americans. And as he takes his first bite, the whole world starts the spin around him taking him to a phycadelic trance with the taste of hamburger. For some reason I just love that scene. I believe it’s exactly how I would feel if I am to taste something exquisite and that's what happened earlier this week to me. Though it makes me feel naïve, the experience was so sweet (pun intended!) that I don’t mind it.

P was in town for the weekend and I went to meet her at an Indian restaurant for lunch. And one of the desserts there for the lunch buffet was this thing which looked like milk soaked break called Sahi Tukda. Since I had my eyes on gulab jamun and the payasam, I didn't pay much attention to this item and I went about stuffing myself with the crispy vadai, masala dosa, naan etc. It was when I had just about a bit of space left in my tummy for just tasting the desserts that I went back for the final round. Since I am a sucker for trying out unique items, I thought I will give this Soaked bread and see how it was. All it took was just a single bit of it for me to fall in love with it. It was neither too sweet nor too bland. It was perfectly smooth and it literally dispersed in my mouth. But P didn't share my enthusiasm for the dish, not because she didn't eat it, but because she was familiar with the item. Apparently, it’s also called Double ka meetha and is a popular sweet in Hydrabad.

I am not a great fan of sweets and desserts; but I had reached that conclusion having tasted pretty much all common sweets and have not developed a liking for it., but this one was different. The world was spinning around me and I was sitting there alone savoring the taste of milk and bread fighting to occupy a place on my taste buds.

Later that day I raved about it to M & R and it turned out they have also had it in spite of them being from Chennai (so, it’s not just Hyderabadis who know about it). Coincidently when I went to work on Monday, my colleague offered me a bowl of a dessert which her Aunt had made over the weekend and guess what...it was Shahi Tukda again! Of course she was also from Hyderabad. Thus, in a span of 2 days, I got to have something twice which I had not even heard about till last week. This one was a much more sweeter version and also more diligently made than the one in the buffet.

It was a pleasant happenstance that I got to eat two different variations of the same sweet which I fell in love with a day before. And sure enough, as of now, it has taken up the unoccupied position of my favorite dessert.

AVS

apparently so

Don’t you use a phrase or a word quite a lot in your conversation? “Like”, “whatever”, “you know what” etc. being some of the common ones I get to hear here in US. Little did I realize till some time back that a word had crept into my vocabulary as well which I tend to use it quite frequently. Apparently, I use the word “apparently” a lot. I was notified of this by my brother sometime back. He was telling me how he mentioned it to my cousin and she also concurred with it. And since, I am conscious of it whenever I use it. Not that it has stopped me from using it or I have deliberately tried not using it; I just chose to ignore what my brother told.

It’s been a while after that and recently when I was chatting with her and I used the word. Since I was weighing what I was saying so as not to make a fool myself (well, at least not more than what she knows!), it occurred to me that even she might have noticed it. And so as to be cool about it and give a “all part of game” feel to it, I confessed myself so that she knows that I am aware of it. And that’s when she said that even she was about to say that I used it a lot.

So it wasn’t just my brother being whimsical or my cousin just agreeing with him to pull my leg. There was some validity to the inference. But when I think back, the word apparently fits well into the structure of sentences I make. I never give a thought about the meaning of it or if I can say the same thing without using that word…it just flows well out of my mouth I suppose. And it does not for most part stand out like a lump. Well, apparently people do notice ! (see, this is what I am talking about)

I don’t know if it is as annoying as using ‘like’, or ‘whatever’, at least I don’t feel that it’s a word I am forcing into my vocabulary. It is something which comes naturally to me (at least after I have started using frequently). I have no plans of making any chances to it.

Update: I have been told that my frequency of ‘apparently’ had reduced and has been replaced by excessive “oh crap!”

AVS

alarm for an alarm

I am not at all an early riser. My tussle with alarm to wake up has been well documented here before. I still continue my 3 alarm pattern, however, the only problem is, on first look, what can only be described as a case of my cell phone developing its own personality or intelligence. I recently got a smart phone on which I can set many number of alarms and can schedule to ring at that time on the days I want them to beep. It worked fine for couple of days. I realized something was wrong when I woke up an hour late than usual. I thought it was one of those days where I was very sleepy and switched the alarm off in my sleep. Since I keep my cell phone beyond my arms reach just so that I don’t turn it off while in sleep, still I gave it the benefit of doubt and took the blame on myself - given that it was a new phone and I was a deep sleeper.

Last month, when for the nth time I woke up late since I started using this phone, I started doubting something wrong with my cell phone. This time, I didn't hear even single one of the 3 alarms. Even though I tried to tell the weirdness with which my phone acted, they blamed it back on me saying I would have switched it off in sleep. I installed an alarm app just in case if it was some problem with the default phone clock. Guess what, none of them beeped again and I overslept for the second consecutive day!

Just as it was trying to play with my mind and making to start to wonder about myself and take the blame back on me, at last, last week I got an opportunity to verify what was wrong. Last week, one day, I somehow managed to wake up with 5 mins to for my first alarm. Since I didn't want to oversleep, I somehow tried to stay awake to see if my alarm really does ring or not. And it did ring. Since my second alarm was only 15 mins later, I stayed up again fighting my sleep off (the secondary objective of keeping multiple alarm is just to wake up and realize that you can go back to sleep for few more minutes! If you have not tried it, please do...it’s a heavenly feeling!) And then, proving my suspicion to be true, my alarm didn't ring at 5.45 am! It cleared my mind up and immediately I woke up and reassigned the alarm to 6.00 again. And sure it did ring at 6. But it was good enough proof for me that my alarm was not all perfect.

Off late I have been waking up right before my first alarm goes off and reassign the times and ringtones. As D said, I have been waking up the alarm for last few days. The height of it was today morning. I had stopped scheduling my alarm to ring all days of the weeks and had started to set it ring for that particular day before I went to bed which I forgot to do last night. However, owing to a disturbing dream I had, I woke up at 5.20 am. Just as I was about to drop back to sleep did I realize that I had not turned on the alarm to ring for today. Immediately i turned it on, wondering even in such deep sleep, I had started to care and think about my alarm details. The thing I forgot to do when I was fresh last night occurred to me in half sleep! It was indeed as D had joked...I have started to wake up to wake up my alarm!

AVS

obsessive compulsive driving

I am not superstitious...okay, maybe a little bit. Of course I have my own share of tiny obsessive compulsives, but nothing that would disrupt my well being or those of my fellow beings. One such thing which I do regularly is taking my car forward when I take it out for the first time in a day. I have to obsessively put the car in the drive gear and move it a step forward before I can reverse it out of the parking spot. I have been doing it since the day I bought my car.

I think it started with the ritual we Indians usually follow of doing this right the first time. And since it was my first car in my life, I didn't want to piss of any superior powers that might be watching over me. And something which was meant to be for the first time only became a first time everyday thing.

Come to think of it, it might have been my horrible attempt at drive right the next day I got my license. I learned driving in India when I was in college. I learned it in a good old ambassador car with huge stick gears which you had to literally pull and move into the required slot to change the gear. And turning the steering meant using all the force you can gather on your hands plus the added push by swirling your body in the direction of the turning of wheel. And once we managed to get the license, a roommate of mine had a maruti car and he encouraged me to take it out and take it for a spin. The thing he never mentioned nor I thought about was that it was power steering. It was parked in front of our hostel facing our room window. So, here I step into the car and changed the gear to reverse. The smoothness with which the gear shifted was a new experience for me. And like I had done for the last few months in the ambassador, I pressed the accelerator as hard as possible and the car just jerked back. In the panic all I could do was pull the hand brake with my feet still rooted on to the accelerator. Don’t ask me if it is the safest or wisest thing to do, say if it was on a road, when your vehicle speeds up uncontrollably, you have no idea how mind works in panic. And his almost new maruti skidded back and halted at 90 deg. from its initial position with the hood now facing the wall. It still is a mystery how I managed to do that given that there was not much space available there to perform such a maneuver.

I immediately stepped out of the car and handed over the key to my roomie. Surprisingly he didn't appear to me much ruffled, most likely because he, being a new driver himself, might have pulled off such a trick before. Anyway, that day I decided not to drive someone else's vehicle so that I don’t end up in the wrong side if i cause even a slightest scratch on it. And mind you it was my first attempt at driving a car without any supervision and i felt I should have started on the right note - in this case a move forward. Hence, when I got a car of my own car, I wanted to take it forward as a good omen for my future rides. However it had gotten to me like a habit which I cannot get rid of. And the sad truth that I don’t know how to reverse parking is presenting me with opportunity to continue doing it every single day.

A small foot note: For the most part I have stuck to my resolution of not driving someone else’s personal car. I have done it only on 2 occasions in the last 8 years; and need I say I was extra cautious taking it up.

AVS

up in the air

I feel jet lag is an overrated concept. I have come to the conclusion over the course of last few years with my trips to India as well as those by my friends. If you can sleep timely and comfortably in the flight; I am sure it’s possible (maybe in the luxury of first class!). Though I know that people get bogged down by traveling across time zones, and I, myself, am a victim to that, though I have wanted to prove that people give undue respect to jet lag.

My recent trip to India gave me an opportunity to test my theory. It was a very short trip for a week and I was sure that I would not have the luxury of taking time to get over my jet lagging at home. So, I was all prepared to 'sleep tight' in the flight. I was optimistic of catching a good sleep at some point of time of the flight given it was the longest ever time I had spent on the single leg of a journey. Mind you given my long legs and wide torso, just about managing to sit in the flight seat comfortably itself is a big deal, forget about sleeping well sitting. And adding to my misery was a severe and literal pain in the neck. I just could not keep my head leaning against the support and take even a small nap without feeling a pinch on the back of my neck. It was the most excruciating 18 hrs I have had to spend on a flight so far. I ended up watching 5 movies and about 3-4 one hour TV shows goes to prove that I just could not sleep at all!. I could not even sleep during the multiple layovers and ended up sleep deprived for good 32 hrs and more.

Despite of the self inflicted insomnia, I was determined not to sleep during day time in India and wait till its night there to sleep so that I can negate the effect of jet lag screwing up my biological clock and I was indeed successful in doing so. I was out of the house the very same day I landed and was back home only by night and went to bed when others in the house did. I woke up fresh the next day morning and for the next one week I was there I was successfully following the Indian timing. I was glad to have proven once and for all that jet lag was indeed not a big deal and yeah, I did spoke volumes about it to anyone who asked.

And my equal long return flight could not have gotten any better for me. The seat next to me was unoccupied and I had the luxury of lifting the hand rest and lying down and sleeping. And I did utilize my space well. I watched only 2 movies in the entire flight time is good enough testimony that I had good rest and sleep. And one of them I watched just for the heck of it. And back in US, I was again back to my US timings for I could not catch any more sleep.

Just when I was feeling jubilant for having successfully beaten the jet lag; not once but twice within a span of a week; it came back with vengeance. Two days after my return, I was walking around like a zombie in the afternoons at work - many cups of coffees having no effect on me. And for straight 2 days I was out as soon as I reached home and work up only to see the dawn of next day. Fortunately for me, it was the week of New Year and work wasn't heavy and the week was short. And within 2-3 days I was fine.

Given that I had slept for over 10 hrs in the flight, I am sure that the fatigue I was feeling was not from the return trip but from the 32 hrs vigil during my on flight to India. It took a week and more I succumbed to the jet lag. Not bad given the hectic and long flights I had! Though I didn’t prove conclusively that you can beat jet lag, at least I partially proved what need to be done to do so. Had I not had neck pain or if I had the provision of more space to sleep, I would have felt anything after a total of about 50+ hrs of air travel. And I look forward to my next trip to close this once and for all.

AVS

meri awaz suno

Last week I came across a news article about a homeless guy with a radio voice – the unique tone of speech which you can get to hear only from a radio host. And sure did he not look anything like what he sounded, which made me reconsider writing a blog on a related topic which I have had in my mind for some time now. Many months back, I thought of writing a blog post about one's voice and had started drafting it couple of times. But for some reason I scrapped it. But this news article was sort of a divine intervention; or so I feel; that – (1) I need to do something about my dormant blog (2) I had to get this thought out of my mind into my blog.

Every person has a fitting voice. Like, you cannot imagine Amitabh Bachchan with Sachin Tendulkar's voice, right? I tend to assign a face and a vague image to a person, whom I have never met, based on their voice or what I have read about them. I am sure that I am not the only one who does it (and I have checked it with few of my friends just to ensure that I am not weird). And invariably the person would be nowhere close to resemble my mental image of them. A colleague of mine from our overseas office who appeared to be a 6 footer with a thick mustache over the phone turned out to be clean shaven 5 footer (just quoting one to prove that it can be as different as chalk and cheese).

The city where I live in US had a high density of desi population and hence a number of desi radio stations which I listen to whenever I am driving. One particular station which I tune to most often had this radio host with a deep voice. Sometime back, I happened to see a photo of his in a news paper and to my utter surprise, he was EXACTLY the way I had imagined him to be. What is more baffling is I had even imagined him to have a goatee which precisely resembled the one he had! (he was a tad thinner than what I had figured, but it was certainly within the ‘uncertainty limit’ of the estimation)

Okay, I don’t what to make any claims of having gained sudden psychic power or anything of that sort; neither am I admitting to the possibility that I might have seen his photo somewhere sometime back and it might have forgotten about it. Let’s say it was just coincidence – after so many misses by a mile, the law of probability had to catch up with me at some point of time or other. But, just the fact that I am a huge fan of spooky movies and what I had conjured up was eerily close to reality makes me marvel at my revelation.

AVS

ramblings of a whiny viewer

I am a self confession movie buff. Ok, I should rephrase it - I am a connoisseur of movies - for 1) I don’t watch any and everything that gets screened on screen 2) I don’t go to the extreme of risking my life to catch the fist day first show of a new release 3) I don’t have the posters or clippings of my favorite actor/actress on my walls.

Watching movies is one of my favorite past times, but I do make sure that on most of the occasions, I have atleast a vague idea about what I am getting into before really getting into the theatre.

I have somewhat of a high standard set on the quality of movies I like. The hind side of this is that most of the times I come of the theatre not completely happy or satisfied by what was offered. I tend to over analyze what is shown on the screen and as one would know, majority of the movies releasing in a year, irrespective of the language they are made in, are at best average to mediocre, with just a few really good ones to a lot of abysmal ones. I clearly remember, when at Cincinnati, of all the movies I saw at AMC (which is pretty much every other weekend), the movies which I was happy with are so less that I can actually recollect the names of each of them.

To contrast this, my colleague at work is the other extreme of mine. He, by his own admission, can watch any movie and invariably comes out of the theatre happy with what he saw. His justification is that I don’t go in with high expectations and once you know exactly what you are going to get, it’s not that bad. Hence he is happy with a movie like Last Airbender, whereas just the thought of watching that movie itself is sacrilegious for me.

How I wish I could think like him, for most of the times I feel my money was wasted, its time well spent for him. Blame it on my upbringing in Kerala, where the quality of Malayalam movies made in the 80s when I was growing up were extremely good. Even the so called movies made for the masses had some really good direction and/or screenplay associated with it. Unfortunately it’s no longer the case, with the quality of movies deteriorating alarmingly that I have almost given up watching Malayalam movies completely and been hooked to Hollywood movies.

AVS

fried oreos

I am not sure how many out there has heard about a snack called Fried Ores. Yes, you read it right and it’s exactly what it sounds like - Oreo cookie which is fried! I heard about it first from a co-worker from work who was from Louisiana. She was telling me it was a very popular delicacy in New Orleans and how she hated it. It was also mentioned in one of the Jay Leno Show episodes I happened to watch around the same time. They are prepared like any other fried snack- dip the cookies in the batter and deep fry it.

I am not a fan of Oreo cookies in the first place. but, being a sucker for any fried snacks, when you add a ‘fried’ to it, even fried cookies sound enticing to me. I had been wanting to try it out just out of the curiosity to know about how two contrasting items would add up or how bad can it be. In my defense, other items which you would expect to be the last item to be fried, tasted awesome – fried ice cream, fried vazhapazam etc.

Recently, I got the opportunity to try it out at Houston Rodeo. It was not just Oreo they were frying, but fried brownies and fried snickers, fried M&M, fried cheesecake etc. I think they fry pretty much anything one can think of to be NOT fried. We tried out Oreo, brownies and snickers and all sucked equally bad! Infact, friend brownie and snicker were so bad that fried Oreo was the least offensive of them all. Maybe it got something to do with the oil in which they fry it at the Rodeo; I couldn’t take more than 2 bites of it. It baffles me how can someone even like it!

I am one who always gives a second chance to any food item; before making a conclusion on how good or bad something is (I have even tried Dr. Pepper more than once!). So, I might try it again sometime in the future, but I think I am certain I have made up my mind on this one.

AVS

what's god?

A poem, called The Blindmen and the Elephant by John Godfrey Saxe, so beautifully written that I was compelled to post it. Thanks to RSK for introducing this to me

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he,
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL:
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

AVS

kerala born confused polyglot

I think I am an Indian equivalent of an ABCD - to be born in one culture and been brought up in a place of another culture. I am, by birth, a Tamilian and belong to that clad who have come to be known as ‘Palakkad Iyers” whose ancestors migrated to Kerala and settled there many generations ago.

However, I consider myself to be a Keralite since I have always lived there. Moreover, though I speak Tamil at home, I am more comfortable and fluent in Malayalam than any other language. Inspite of some serious canvassing and cajoling from one of my dear friends to convince me that I am a Tamilian, I stand adamant on my mallu stand much to her annoyance. She had to settle with the truce that she would consider me to be a Tamil and doesn’t give a damn about what I consider myself to be (It’s a miracle I still get invited for dinner at her place!)

However the bigger issue was when it came to what is my mother tongue. Much before I had to confront this question of picking an identity, I have always been conflicted by the same issue whenever I had to specify my ‘mother tongue’ in application forms. I have used both Malayalam and Tamil for that particular column depending on how I felt about what my mother tongue is at that particular moment, though I never could convince myself which one was it for me. I don’t buy the explanation that mother tongue is the one your mother speaks (which is just the literal translation of the word and not I am certain that’s not what it was meant to be when the word was coined).

Sometime back a friend of mine wrote about the language one thinks in. I thought it was a good way to figure out the mother tongue for polyglots like me (I know 4 languages and working on the 5th one ;). A person’s mother tongue should be the language in which he/she thinks. It doesn’t matter where you live or what you speak. The language in which you have thoughts has to be considered your mother tongue since that is the one which comes involuntarily to you and by that theory; my mother tongue has to be Tamil. I have always had my silent thoughts in Tamil, the one which I have used and still use to communicate with my family even since I can think of. So, does that make me a Tamilian? Maybe it does, when I put it that way (my above mentioned friend would be delighted to read my confession :)

I know there would be people who refuse to accept this argument of mine. In fact, a very close friend of mine vouches that he thinks in English though he hails from Chennai and speaks Tamil at home (well, at least most of the times!). For him, English is the language in which his thoughts flow. In my defense, he doesn’t have confusion as to what his mother tongue is and is certain that its Tamil. This hypothesis stands true only for confused souls like me.

Spare a thought for a friend of mine from Mumbai; she has lived her whole life there and can just manage Marathi but converses in Malayalam Tamil at home since her parents are Tamil speaking Keralites like me!

AVS

worst ARR album

I got hold of an extensive mp3 collection of ARR songs from a friend of mine sometime back and ever since it has been playing on a loop in my music player – starting with the genesis ROJA and other majestic creations from the 90s like Thiruda Thiruda (90s, being the decade in which I grew, brings back all those nostalgia too). It put me in a really hard situation of picking the best from the list which was impossible for me. Hence I thought it would be easier to find the worst ARR album of all time. I had shortlisted on few of the in consequential hindi track and those tamil songs which he made for Prasanth (Jodi or something), Manoj (Alli Arjuna?) etc. But even in those there was atleast one track which was good, since ARR had rehashed them from hindi to tamil or vice versa (The criteria I used to gauge the album was it should not have even a single track worthy). A quick inquiry in facebook and couple of my friends unanimously suggested a real gem (!) which I hadn’t even heard of. An Arjun starrer tamil movie – PARASURAM. I was told it has the least noteworthy songs Rahman has ever composed.

I managed to hear the songs of the album last day and yes it is the least spectacular album of the Maestro. However there was one song in that which Rahman had used in the hindi film Zubeida. But I can confidently say, if not for that track, it is by far the poorest album by ARR’s standard (which would still rate better than some other so called ‘music composers’. Hence, my wait for the utter rubbish from Rahman continues. I have to add that I will be more than happy to be disappointed in this one.

living offline

I am addicted to my computer. Even if I am watching TV or on phone, I need to play around with my fingers on my computer, either you tubing or gaming or something like that. And this includes checking my 5 email ids every 15-20 mins. It’s not that I cannot live without going online, but just knowing that I have the access at hands reach is a comforting thought (there is some reasoning behind my Uncle calling me a ‘Googler”, as per him, I can find him anything he wants online). So, you could imagine what I would have to go through if I am to get past a day without my laptop. And quite befitting the Halloween month, I am having to the horror of parting with my computer.

It all started few days back when I resumed my attempt to connect my laptop to my TV. Mind you my television is a good ol’ CRT TV and for some reason I was not able to get any display on TV though it said in my laptop that it’s connected. I am someone who preferably likes to resolves issues my verbal conversation rather than by email or chat. That’s the reason why I usually call up the customer care of any company for troubleshooting so that I could explain my concerns to them in detail. But for the last one week, I have been on phone for almost 3 straight hours after going home from work with my laptop company customer care. Even by my tolerance level to talking, this has been quite a tedious effort.

So I made my first call to the support team of my laptop makers. One of the major pains of customer service is that it makes you go though all this menu options and voice recognition stuffs before you can reach a real human. And every single time, despite of my best efforts to sound as “american’ as possible, the automated lady on the other end refuses to recognize my menu option. So after all the yes and nos I get connected to a representative who turned out to be located at Kolkata (fortunately, he still had his Indian name intact, rather that a Dave, or Andy with Indian accent). I spend good 3-4 hours on phone troubleshooting my laptop and updating some system drivers and all with no luck. Next day on, I noticed that the fan inside my laptop was making unusually loud noise and my laptop battery wasn’t getting charged though it said so. So I made my second call in 2 days to the company to complain about the sound and charging issue going though all the options which the auto lady utters (including the spanish lady).

Another thing that irks me is that every time you call, you get connected to a different person and you have to start explaining the issue from scratch. This time I was connected to a lady in Canada and it turns out that the pervious guy had updated the wrong drivers on my laptop and she updated the right ones for me. Still my laptop refused to charge. And to add to my frustration, here was that guy from Kolkata following up with me to see if I could get my laptop to display on TV (He seemed more interested in fixing my problem than me).

So, after my 3 call in as many days explaining the story from the prelude to the epilogue to the 3rd representative, I got my laptop battery replaced. Still, even with a new battery, my problem remained unresolved. Anyway, the long story short (I have already lost the credibility to say that!) after 2 more calls and couple more hours on the phone, I had to send back my laptop to the service center for detailed diagnostics. It is expected that I will be out of computer for good 1½ weeks (and it’s been only just 4 days so far!)

Update: Its been a week without laptop and my vitals are all good so far and I am yet to manifest any withdrawal symptoms. I am surviving and weathering through it. Just the fact that I am posting this entry even in the absence of my laptop is proof enough for my well being.

AVS